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The First Month of Mourning: Sheloshim

Return to Guide to Death and Mourning for Interfaith Families

For a month after the burial, mourners who have gone back to their work and family lives avoid many normal pleasures, like getting married or attending events at which there will be a festive meal, like a wedding or a baby naming. Some have the custom not to shave or cut their hair for that time. Not all Jews keep these mourning customs strictly, but they exist as a way to acknowledge that a person in the early stages of mourning often doesn’t feel like being at a party or having a new haircut. Sometimes mourners mark the end of sheloshim by sponsoring a study session in the name of the person who has died. It’s also a good time to give money to charity.

The Guide to Death and Mourning for Interfaith Families is available as a PDF and our booklet Mourning the Loss of a Loved One is available for download.


18Doors is here to support interfaith couples and families exploring Jewish life. We offer educational content; connections to welcoming organizations, professionals and programs; resources and trainings for organizations, clergy and other program providers; and our Rukin Rabbinic Fellowship provides offerings for couples in cities nationwide. If you have questions, please contact


Author: 18Doors