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Mourning on a Schedule

Return to Guide to Death and Mourning for Interfaith Families

The schedule of Jewish mourning is logical and familiar: for a week, a month, and a year after the burial, there are expected mourning activities, which grow less intense as time passes.

For a week after the burial, in the period called shiva, meaning seven, there is intense mourning, during which mourners do almost nothing, not even leaving the house. They may choose to follow some of the Jewish symbols of mourning: covering the mirrors, sitting on low stools or benches, not wearing leather shoes and not shaving. In traditional Jewish communities, people outside the family visit to provide the mourners with food, participate in prayer services in honor of the person who has died, and comfort the mourners in a prescribed fashion. Some families find it difficult to reconcile this intensive mourning practice with their jobs, and choose to sit shiva for a shorter period than seven days. Whether they sit for three days or until the Jewish Sabbath (when mourning is forbidden) or the full seven days, the period of shiva is one in which mourners need the support of their families and friends.

The First Week of Mourning: Shiva

The First Month of Mourning: Sheloshim

The Year of Mourning: Saying Kaddish

The Guide to Death and Mourning for Interfaith Families is available as a PDF and our booklet Mourning the Loss of a Loved One is available for download.


18Doors

18Doors is here to support interfaith couples and families exploring Jewish life. We offer educational content; connections to welcoming organizations, professionals and programs; resources and trainings for organizations, clergy and other program providers; and our Rukin Rabbinic Fellowship provides offerings for couples in cities nationwide. If you have questions, please contact info@18doors.org.

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Author: 18Doors