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Jewish Clergy Officiation Referral Service FAQs for Clergy

You’ve got questions and we’ve got answers. Learn more about 18Doors Jewish Clergy Referral Service here. 

How does this work? 

Here’s a quick look at how our Jewish Clergy Officiation Referral Service works. You can find a helpful overview of how our service works by watching this video short offering a behind-the-scenes into the referral service from the perspective of the couples and families we serve.

  1. The first step is to create a login and start building your profile.
  2. Once submitted, our team will review the information you provided to see if you meet our eligibility requirements.
  3. You’ll then receive an email from us letting you know if you were accepted. We will then make your profile available for couples and families searching for a rabbi/cantor in your area to view. You’ll be able to use your login to edit or update your profile anytime.
  4. Couples and families interested in connecting with you can send you a message directly from our website. The message will show up in your inbox, and from there, you can find a time to talk or meet.
  5. We’d appreciate it if you would let us know who has decided to hire you for their upcoming event. We love a happy ending!

What are the eligibility requirements to be listed with our service?

To be eligible, you must fit these criteria: 

  • You must be willing to officiate lifecycle events for interfaith couples and families. 
  • You must be an ordained rabbi or cantor. 
  • You must be ordained by one of the following institutions: AJR (in NY), AJR-CA, AJU, ALEPH, Chief Rabbinate of Israel, Hebrew College, Hebrew Seminary, HUC-JIR, HUC-JIR/Jerusalem Israel Rabbinical Program, IISHJ, JTS, Leo Baeck, Yeshivat Maharat, RRC, Yeshivat Chovevei Torah, YU,  Schechter Rabbinical Seminary (SRS) and El Seminario Rabínico Latinoamericano.
  • You must officiate for LGBTQ+ couples and families. 
  • You must not be censured or suspended by a rabbinical or cantorial association. There must not be any credible public allegations of bad behavior. 

Do I need to be a member of a clergy association? 

No, you do not need to be a member of a clergy association to be listed with us. 

Do I have to co-officiate 

No, you don’t have to co-officiate to be included on our referral list. We ask couples if they are seeking co-officiation and only recommend rabbis who are comfortable with this practice.  

Will 18Doors ever remove someone from the referral list? 

18Doors reserves the right to remove any clergy from the referral list at any time. Reasons for removal include repeated negative feedback received from couples and families to whom we’ve referred them, public allegations of bad behavior or suspension by a rabbinical or cantorial association.

What’s the cost to join? 

Currently, we do not charge couples/families or clergy for use of this service. We’re always grateful for those clergy who choose to donate to 18Doors to thank us for helping to connect them with opportunities for hire. 

Who sets the price for the services I offer? 

Good question. You do! We let couples know that clergy set their own price and that prices vary greatly depending on the experience level of the Jewish clergy, the location, the number of pre-event meetings they require, and other factors. When they ask, we tell them that on average most clergy charge between $1,000-$1,500 depending those factors. You can choose to list the price you charge for wedding officiation and what that fee includes on your profile.

Will I receive a list of couples and families to get in touch with? 

No, instead they will reach out to you by email after they’ve viewed your profile. Please be prompt in responding back to them. If they are unable to reach you we may share your phone number. From there you can schedule a time to talk or meet with them, or continue the conversation over email.

How does 18Doors define its Israel policy, and is adherence to this policy a requirement for inclusion in the Jewish Clergy Officiation Referral Service?

18Doors’ policy affirms that we:

1. Support Israel’s right to exist as a Jewish democratic state and homeland.

2. Encourage interfaith couples and families to visit Israel to appreciate its beauty and complexity.

Our referral network consists of 500 rabbis and cantors, each with their unique values, beliefs, personal boundaries, and relationship with Israel. The beliefs of clergy in our referral service are their own and do not represent that of 18Doors as an organization. We advise clergy to engage openly in initial conversations with individuals we refer to them to ensure compatibility. We have advised individuals who use our service to do the same with you. Our staff is available to provide support and assistance as needed, guiding couples to find the best fit.

How do I update my contact information? 

Easy! You can use your 18Doors login to update your profile and information anytime. If you need any help, email

I know a great rabbi/cantor who I want to recommend. How can they join 18Door’s referral list? 

We’re so excited to hear that. You can pass this link to the Jewish clergy you want to recommend. Once they fill it out, we’ll review their eligibility to see if it meets our standards, and hopefully, add them to our list of referred rabbis and cantors from there.

I know an interfaith couple or family who needs a Jewish clergy for an upcoming lifecycle event. How do they submit a request? 

You can direct them to fill out our Jewish clergy request form. From there, our team will create and send them a customized list of rabbis and cantors based on the information they provide. 

What additional resources does 18Doors provide to clergy? 

Maybe you want to get more training and experience working with interfaith couples. Learn more about applying to our Rukin Rabbinic Fellowship.

And if you’re looking to bring this work to your organization, check out our professional development offerings.

What additional resources does 18Doors provide to interfaith couples? 

If you’re looking for some additional resources that complement your work with an individual, couple or family, we’ve got it! 18Doors offers several online and in-person opportunities in local communities where couples can connect with each other and meet other couples. Check here to see if our Couples & Conversation workshops and meetups are happening in your area. These events offer couples the chance to have important conversations around religion in their lives in a safe, supportive and fun environment.

We also have resources available online including easy-to-understand booklets for different lifecycle events, wedding and parenting blogs, email series that help cover the basics, and so much more! There are also plenty of opportunities for folks you’re working with to connect to other interfaith couples and families in a supportive online community. We have active Facebook groups on parenting and wedding planning.

What impact does the Jewish Clergy Officiation Referral Service have?

Our referral service connects nearly 4,000 individuals, couples and families a year to interfaith-friendly Jewish clergy. Whether the need is for interfaith couples counseling, a wedding, baby naming, funeral or other lifecycle event, we’re here to offer our help and expertise for some of the most important moments in life. 18Doors is the premier resource supporting interfaith couples and families exploring Jewish life and inclusive Jewish communities. 

How can I get more involved with 18Doors? 

Interested in joining one of our local or national boards, hosting a fundraiser to support our mission, becoming a guest blogger or learning about other volunteer opportunities? Shoot us an email at


Do you have other questions? Contact Nicole Wasilus – Director of Lifecycle Connections at 



Nicole Wasilus

Nicole takes pride in directing the Jewish Clergy Officiation Referral Service which helps connect over 4,000+ couples and families annually to interfaith-friendly rabbis and cantors as 18Doors’ Director of Lifecycle Connections. She began her career working for Hillel after graduating from Penn State University in 2011. Nicole received her Masters in Public Administration with a focus in Nonprofit Management from the University of Delaware in 2017. She was recognized in 2020 as a Jewish change-maker in a time of crisis by New York Jewish Week’s “36 Under 36.” When she’s not working, Nicole loves exploring new restaurants in Philadelphia with her husband, seeing independent movies, and taking her Insta-famous dog to the park.