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An Open Letter to Matthew Bronfman On Behalf of Interfaith Families

Dear Mr. Bronfman, 

Like your dad and you, I, too, am a proud Jew. I, too, say thank you, every day, for my health and family. I, too, agree that there are plenty of ways to express your Judaism, whether in synagogue or outside of it. And I care deeply about Judaism, Jewish life, and encouraging Jewish exploration for the couples and families my organization works with.  

Though we have never met, I suspect that there is more that unites us than divides us. But I’m concerned that you say that intermarriage is keeping you up at night, and that you believe the disconnect between the diaspora and Israel is what’s leading most Jews to marry people who are not Jewish.  

The thing that’s leading most Jews to marry people who are not Jewish is love.  

Despite the recent rise in anti-Semitism, we are fortunate enough to live in an open society in the United States, where Jews no longer have to segregate themselves, no longer need their own sports leagues, law firms, country clubs, or universities. And one of the byproducts of living in an open society is that people get to meet and know a broad spectrum of people—and that sometimes, they fall in love with people who don’t look the same as they do, don’t share the same race, ethnicity or religion. That’s the demographic shift that has caused a rise in the rate of intermarriage in the United States.  

Jewish interfaith couples—families like mine—are the fastest growing demographic among progressive Jews. We make up the vast majority of Jewish couples who’ve gotten married since 2000. In fact, 72% of non-Orthodox Jews are marrying someone who’s not Jewish. When you include Orthodox Jews, it’s still 58 percent. We’re not a drop in the ocean. We are the ocean. 

I suspect that’s why you say that intermarriage is keeping you up at night. But we shouldn’t be the cause of your insomnia. It’s the Jewish community’s reaction to Jewish interfaith couples and families that ought to keep you up at night. Many of us from interfaith homes or in interfaith marriages are Jewish professionals, rabbis, lay leaders and philanthropists who are actively engaged in Jewish life and the Jewish future. 

I’m the CEO of 18Doors (formerly InterfaithFamily), the national Jewish non-profit that is laser-focused on supporting interfaith couples and families as they explore Jewish life. And every day, we hear from interfaith couples and their family members who tell us about the negative experiences they have had while trying to engage in Jewish life.  

A couple of weeks ago, a Christian mom raising Jewish kids told me that the “worst offenders” in her life were “my husband’s family.” And we know from a recent survey we did at 18Doors that more than half of the interfaith couples surveyed who are not engaged in Jewish life want to be—but they haven’t found a space where they feel comfortable, or even included. And it was only a few years ago that Hillel professionals told me and my colleagues that they were uncomfortable being open about their status as the child of an interfaith couple, or as dating someone who’s not Jewish. 

Many interfaith couples want to be engaged in Jewish life—and in fact, their relationship can be the catalyst for deeper engagement in Jewish life. But nobody wants to be told that they are suboptimal, or that they’re the cause of an important philanthropist and Jewish leader’s insomnia. And no one wants to be told that the “cure” for their relationship or family is a free trip to Israel. And as long as interfaith couples and families are told that their families are less than, and are something to be avoided, they (we) will continue to stay at the margins.  

18Doors exists to make sure interfaith families are included and not on the margins. We connect interfaith couples and families with Jewish communities, programs and clergy who support and meet them where they are, as they are. We also provide training and resources for Jewish organizations to become more inclusive of interfaith families. This year, we have 26 Rukin Rabbinic Fellows across the United States and Canada, all running programs for interfaith couples and family members. With a footprint in more than 23 major metropolitan areas, we’re undergoing a period of growth and expansion.  

I’d like to invite you to meet with me so I can introduce you to some of the interfaith couples and family members who are building their Jewish lives with the help of 18Doors. Most Jewish funders continue to stay on the sidelines of supporting programs or resources explicitly for interfaith couples or families. You could help change that.  


Jodi Bromberg
CEO, 18Doors

P.S. We want you to know us, members of interfaith families, in the hopes that you won’t stay up at night worrying about intermarriage any more. We, the undersigned, are: 

Mixed faith, Dual faith, Intercultural, Interfaith, Mixed heritage, Mixed culture, Half-Jewish, Intermarried, Jew-ish, Jewish adjacent, Just Jewish, A Modern Family, Blewish (Black and Jewish), JewBu (Jewish-Buddhist), JewMu (Jewish-Muslim), Jewpanese (Jewish-Japanese), Jew-theran (Jewish Lutheran), CathJew (Catholic-Jewish), Jewnitarian Jewniversalists, Jewish-and, Multifaith.  

We are people of different sexual orientations, gender identities and abilities. We are people of different races, cultures, ethnicities and backgrounds. We have different levels of observance and religiosity. In some families, we’re culturally Jewish. In others, we’re religiously Jewish. Some might incorporate other religions, religious or cultural traditions into our home. For some of us, it’s complicated. For some of us, it’s not.  

We are donors, philanthropists, lay leaders of Jewish organizations, members of Jewish organizations, Jewish communal professionals, Jewish clergy, and more. We care about Jewish life and our connection, and our family’s connection, to it. 

We represent the beauty and diversity of Jewish interfaith families. We are one of the fastest growing populations of the Jewish community. In other words, we aren’t a drop in the ocean—we are the ocean. 

We show up at: Synagogues , JCCs, Hillels, Jewish summer camps, Jewish day schools, Mikvot, Jewish pre-schools… and other Jewish institutions.  

But also, some of us don’t—because of the way we’ve been treated, or the way our spouses or other family members have been treated. More of us would if we knew that every place was an open, inclusive, accepting place for us. We’ve made great progress—but there is more to do.  

One place to start is to treat our families with dignity, and respect, and to not refer to us in ways that seem like we are a problem to be solved. We’re part of the vibrancy of Jewish life—and in fact part of the reason that our Jewish population continues to grow! 
I invite those in interfaith families, interfaith relationships, and allies to join me in signing alongside 18Doors that interfaith families belong in the Jewish community. 



Jewish Children’s Folkshul & Adult Community: A Secular Humanist Jewish Community
Ashley’s Peer Recovery Services, LLC
Beth Chaverim Humanistic Jewish Community
Beth El Congregation of the South Hills, Pittsburgh
Beth Shir Shalom
Chicago Interfaith Family School
Congregation Beth Am
Congregation Beth Ahm, Windsor, CT
Congregation Mickve Israel , Savannah GA
Darshan Yeshiva
Evelyn & David Snyder Family Foundation
Family School Chicago
Glacier Jewish Community/B’nai Shalom
Habonim Dror Camp Galil
Havurah Shalom
Honeymoon Israel
Humanistic Jews of Tampa Bay
Jewish Ally
Jewish Children’s Folkshul
Kol Shalom Community for Humanistic Judaism
Lippman Kanfer Foundation for Living Torah
Mishkan Chicago
Open Door Judaism
Oraynu Congregation for Humanistic Judaism
Congregation Beth Ahm, Windsor, CT
Sixth & I
Society for Humanistic Judaism
Tackling Torah
Temple Beth Am Religious School, Parsippany NJ
Temple B’nai Israel (Kalamazoo)
Temple Etz Rimon, Carlsbad, California
Temple Shir Tikva
Temple Shir TIkvah, Winchester MA
The Rashi School
The Tasman Center for Jewish Creativity
United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism
Wholesome Healing Chiropractic


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Rabbi Alex Weissman
George Weitzenfeld
Rabbi Ariann Weitzman
Norval Wener
Molly Wernick
Rob Wexler
Daniel Weyl
Lyndsay Whitehurst
Elana Wien
Marla Wiener
Sarah Wiener
Wendy Williams
Amy Willis
Katharine Wilson
Rabbi Jeremy Winaker
Marci Wiseman
Noreen Wiseman
Marianne Wisenthal
Sarit Wishnevski
Judy Wisniewski
Bruce Wither
Larry Wolf
Maureen Wolfson
Debbie Wolgelerenter
Daniel Wollrich
Rabbi Eric Woodward
Cantor Wunch
Paula Yablonsky
Tzemah Yoreh
Natalie Yosipovitch
Tom Young
Jim Youngerman
Rebecca Youngerman
Rabbi Barbara Zacky
Brian Zakem
Doug Zang
Ben Zeiger
Michelle Zemsky Dineen
Micol Zimmerman
Logan Zinman Gerber
Amy Zylberman

Jodi Bromberg

Jodi Bromberg is the CEO of 18Doors.