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How We Ended Up Here

Pretty early on Julie and I realized that there was something different about this relationship, and that there was a very good chance that one day we’d be making long-term plans together. As our relationship progressed, we discussed all of the typical topics that you’d expect—children, faith, short-term and long-term goals, etc.—but we never talked about the kind of wedding that either of us wanted.

I knew what kind of wedding I wanted (the kind where we are married at the end of the day), but I was worried that she would want a church wedding, with all that entails. I wasn’t sure how comfortable I’d be with that. My idea for a wedding involved a faith-neutral site, with the ceremony led by a judge or some other non-religiously affiliated person licensed to marry people in Texas. If all that matters is that at the end of the day we are married, then I really shouldn’t have been concerned about what she might want, but I was. And not only was I concerned, I was certain that this could be a major stumbling block. I should have known better.

Fortunately, it was never an issue. From the very first time we discussed the type of wedding we wanted, Julie was already thinking about how we can have an inclusive wedding, where everyone is comfortable. This included not only the location, but the ceremony itself. What a relief!

Now you’re probably wondering exactly what kind of wedding she was thinking about?

Julie envisioned a wedding at a neutral location, with a ceremony that integrated the traditions of both Jewish and Christian weddings, and hopefully officiated by both a rabbi and a minister. I was thrilled with the plan. I had never really thought about the possibility of having a wedding ceremony that included some religious aspects, so this was all new and exciting.

Of course, reality soon set in, as we began the search for a rabbi and minister willing to co-officiate.

Interestingly enough, our search for a rabbi brought us to

Bryan Daneman