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Your first conversation with a prospective officiant is your “interview,” and it’s your main opportunity to discern whether or not s/he is a good fit.

Here are some questions you may want to ask:

 1. Are you willing to work with us to craft the content of the ceremony, and do you have limitations on how flexible you’re willing to be about the ceremony? (For example, if you’re a couple that prefers little to no God language, this is the time to ask.)

2. What do you charge for a fee, and when do you need to be paid? Do you use a letter of agreement?

3. How much time are you willing to spend with us and/or members of our family if there are important issues or family dynamics that require sensitivity?

4. How far are you willing to travel to a wedding venue, and what travel reimbursement might you need?

5. How would you describe your approach to working with interfaith couples?

6. Do you have ritual limitations or restrictions that we might not be aware of?

7. How much Hebrew and English can we expect in the service, and how do you work to help guests who aren’t Jewish feel included?

8. Do you do dress rehearsals?

9. Do you have references we can contact (i.e. other couples)?

After your initial conversation, the most important thing is for you and your partner to decide whether or not you feel comfortable, supported and respected.

18Doors

Author: 18Doors

18Doors is here to support interfaith couples and families exploring Jewish life. We offer educational content; connections to welcoming organizations, professionals and programs; resources and trainings for organizations, clergy and other program providers; and our Rukin Rabbinic Fellowship provides offerings for couples in cities nationwide. If you have questions, please contact info@18doors.org.


18Doors

18Doors

18Doors is here to support interfaith couples and families exploring Jewish life. We offer educational content; connections to welcoming organizations, professionals and programs; resources and trainings for organizations, clergy and other program providers; and our Rukin Rabbinic Fellowship provides offerings for couples in cities nationwide. If you have questions, please contact info@18doors.org.